I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize