i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
