He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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