your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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