I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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