Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think your dad took our porno
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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