I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
