Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
