stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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