i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
