margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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