It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
