i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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