Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
