OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
