remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
