dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
