Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
