Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
