Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.