Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
