At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
