He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
