Can Purell be used as lube?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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