I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
