Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
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Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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