He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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