the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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