i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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