i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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