seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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