last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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