Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
