READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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