Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm really busy with my period
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