tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
