yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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