Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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