It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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