I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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