I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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