God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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