What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
