He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
