Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
