no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
