Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
