is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
