was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
