I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
