the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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