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So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
