what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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